Angst

Ex 16:18b "…he who gathered much had nothing left over, and he who gathered little had no lack."(NKJV)

When I was in college and law school there was one thing that I wanted to do: Work with people. I didn't care about tax law, or corporations, or corporate paper, or things that attorneys do that rake in the cash…I wanted to work with people. And I believed that I was being called by God to do this...to listen to people in their needs and to give solid advice. (Is. 50:4) I now know that this is where God led me. Thirty plus years later I am still working with people listening and advising and it is not just job, it is a ministry. The thing is, in my early days I thought that working with people would be fun. Now I realize that working with people can be fun, but it is also challenging. People have problems, and with problems come questions and complaining and angst. (What a great word.)

Moses got a great big dose of angst from people. Webster defines angst as "a feeling of anxiety, apprehension or insecurity". This is what these people were feeling and this is what Moses got an earful about. And it came out in the form of complaining. This is the second time these people asked Moses why he brought them out into the wilderness to die. The first time was when the Egyptian army pursued them. Now, it was about 75 days after they left Egypt and they were complaining about being hungry. They liked their pots of meat and bread in Egypt. Now their bellies were grumbling and it came out of their mouths.

Once again, God came through. Let's see. He came through when he got them out of Egypt. He came through in leading them with a pillar of fire and a cloud. He came through when they crossed the Red Sea on dry ground. Could He do it again? Could God do one more miracle and fill the stomachs of all of these people? Here come the quail and here comes the manna…with instructions. Only pick up one omer per person. If they did this, if they followed the law of God (before there was the actual written law of God), if they were obedient, then "he who gathered much had nothing left over, and he who gathered little had no lack." Amazing. God is true to His word.

As I think about my life and the lives of those around me, I see that God has not changed. When we do what He says, He supplies all that we need, at just the right time. It is amazing, but I have watched Him work and supply just enough at just the right time over and over again. This was especially true when our girls were in college. Two girls in private schools and universities can be a test. But God came through every time. He allowed me to bring in cases, and make extra money. He allowed Georgann to have a job that helped supply. No bill went unpaid. No need went unmet, at just the right time.

Yet I still act like the children of Israel. I still am human and have a short memory. I can still feel that internal feeling of angst. I am thankful that God is faithful even though I am faithless, because He cannot deny who He is. (2Tim 2:13) He said: "If you obey I will supply." This has been true throughout all of time, and He still does it.